In Instants of Loss

There are many times in life when we face situations which seem almost unparalleled in how difficult overcoming them seems. If I was to centre in on a particular aspect which causes these feelings it would most likely be that of loss. Now recently I have under gone many variations of the term ‘loss’. It actually seems to be some sort of never ending cycle to spiral you down in it. But it is times like these that you truly seem to grasp the essence for the reasons you mourn. Which I guess is the special part; I mean what is a bit of pleasure without being dragged through torture first?

Now in memory of many things, I write this. Many memories recently have been pushed to the forefront, many good memories I should stress. From the song my Nana used to sing to me when I went to sleep, to how I used to look forward to having my morning coffee at work so much, and now it just has slotted into another blistering routine.

Slowly but surely I watched someone lose their mind taking everything they ever held dear to them, to vanish with each breathe that surely would pass unnoticed. I feel that it is in moments like this it is our duty to remember them as only we knew them. It is our duty to remember for them when things won’t ever be recalled and in that we will take comfort. In those strands we still grasp and hold so tightly we wish to absorb them into ourselves forever, we take comfort in the loss of someone truly special to us.

Words are so often not enough, they tend to burn your mouth as they slip out and only the ash remains with your voice. I wish I could put my mind on paper properly. Not with clumsy words like this to try and convey that sometimes we lose things we can never replace, if I had to put a ‘common’ term to it, it is all those Mastercard ‘priceless’ moments, or the ‘kodak’ moments which happen for the instant that seems to last forever. We will always mourn, but to truly know what you have lost you have to look at all the great things that are the reasons you mourn in the first place.

I feel like I have entered some sort of emotional turmoil column but I had to send my love out somehow to those who I now so dearly miss. It is in every little moment you gave me that I will remember you in all the best moments of mine.