The New, The Old, The Dust, The Gold

Recently I have laid to rest many things, many things have now been covered like the open grave they were to me and I have healed. Time apart makes loss into an interesting thing. While I was gone some things have changed, some things are now eternal. My family laid to rest two beautiful people, poured their ashes into the same peaceful place together so that even in dust, they were as they are remembered. Together, in peace, forever overlooking the place that they watched every sunset pass for the last 60 years. It was something I never wanted to miss but something that I will never miss, for now they exist in my memory, in my heart in a way that nothing can touch. And hopefully time will not ravage my brain in the way I watched it do to someone dear to me and I will forever preserve them where they count.

I see things in the past now as they should be, where I now leave them, in a moment. In a passing second in time where the world seemed to stop just for you, and then sped right up to whisk straight past you like the train that will never again stop at your cold cement station. But its from these rare moments that we take the best, the gold. And from these moments we can also separate what doesn't matter anymore.

All this rhetorical thinking spins me in circles but I have finally found that my circle is link, that may spin round and round but it does not stop, and I will not force my hand to stop it forcefully. I am once again myself. I am no longer surrounded, nor do I need to hazey cloud that has followed me around like a lost puppy for the last 3 years. I do not need to comfort the speed of my thinking, I just need to express it.

So to things in the past, the things for the future, for the memories we hold dear and for the things that stay with us wherever we are. Home is where ever I choose to take it, and for me, finally it is wherever I am. Because those moments exist now inside me where the time can not touch them anymore.