What even,.

So It has been very long since i have tried to find refuge in public posts to an audience I know doesn't exist. THat sentence itself seems ridiculous. If I went outside and yelled it to the trees I may find more benefit. BUt the trues have been to quiet of late to hear of torment, of tulmultuous seas and thundering waves, and the clear blue skies when everything seems possible in the sunken calm of a beautiful afternoon surrounded in the simplicity and complexitites of life. TO be short. As always. The heart breaks in a thousand ways every day Every day the heart resists Limbs are hung and tired Eyes sunken and joyless Somewhere in side, dear god, Somewhere in there I hide waiting. Waiting on the drone of time to say 'enoughs enough' Grief is nothing more than happiness. It overwhelms, it consumes and it explodes. Its a dark cousin, a dear friend. Grief and love share a bond Both to break and heal There was a day once when I dragged feet through an un mowed meadow the grass, the smells, the brilliant of each shade of green I was one of them that day. A hue. A mere brush stroke in this constant canvas of chaos Slowly, it will come As fast as it burnt through me As searing the pain Ages will pass before the cracks of it cloak break of and return to me a land where trust love and friendship make sense again. the sun was simpler in those days